"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it"
When something happens that threatens to destroy our relationship, for example, our partner has an affair or we just don't seem to be getting on anymore, in our hurt state, it can feel as if the only way forward is to leave the relationship and maybe find someone else who will be more faithful or another partner who will understand us more. In our traumatised state, we may feel like giving up on relationships altogether. Sometimes (not always), if we can bear to stay with the difficult feelings that have been evoked, work through them together and come to understand the ‘something that has happened’ as a symptom of what we have both created together as a couple, this can lead to a deepening of our relationship and a new level of intimacy not experienced before.
Working through what has happened together in couples therapy isn’t easy and will take time and a willingness to explore feelings. Coming to couples therapy will not necessarily lead to you deciding to stay together but it may lead to a better way of moving on and an honouring of your relationship.
If you feel that you would like to give couples therapy a try, please call me to arrange for an initial session (I do charge for this) and we’ll take it from there.
My fee for couples therapy is £95 per session.
* artwork by kind permission of Kylie Wardlaw
